SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS.

Laundry to do? It will still be there after you wake up. Not feeling tired? Lay down anyway and watch what happens. Phone calls to return? They’ll wait. Need to blog? No, sleep. Hungry? Okay, eat and then lay down. ;)

Become an Olympic-level napper!

The next 6 weeks are the hardest. It gets a little easier after that, but for now you have permission to do just about anything required to get through the next 6 weeks.

You and your wife will suffer sleep deprivation. You won’t notice this for the first couple of days because you are so damned busy and preoccupied. But when you get home and it’s just you three, well, the shock hits. At first it can feel like the world has ended. Really, it can be bad. HOWEVER, you will adjust! My best suggestion is to work out a schedule with your wife and other care-takers so that each of you can get at least a 4 hour block of sleep a day. For example, I would take feedings and diaper changes from 8pm - 12am so my wife could sleep. Then my wife would take 12 am - 4 am so I could sleep.

If she’s breastfeeding, get started with pumping now so that she can store the milk and you can do feedings.

A moment will come (typically around 3 or 4 AM) when you, your wife, or both of you break down and cry “I can’t do this! Can we just take her back?!”. This is okay. Say to that freaked-out part of you: “thank you for sharing”, and then focus on what you need to do to get through the next 5 minutes. Repeat this until the panic subsides, the baby falls asleep, or both. ;)

Eat. Since your normal sleep schedule is gone, your appetite will go too. The lack of sleep combined with a lack of food will really turn you into a zombie. You _must_ ensure you and your wife consume enough calories and do so with regularity. If your wife is breast-feeding she needs to eat even more. Trust me on this, if you eat regularly both of you will feel a little more normal. If there are relatives or friends that want to help, tell them to cook you food that freezes well. ;)

Be careful with your back. Lots of new dads (including myself) painfully strain their backs with all of the lifting and twisting required with a new baby.

Again, the panic, surrealness, unreality, etc are NORMAL. You’ll get through it, you will adjust. Same goes for your wife, but it’s WAY harder for her because she’s riding the post-partum hormone roller-coaster of life. It takes weeks if not months for her body to return to normal, so prepare yourself. Be there for her. REMEMBER the baby may be permanent, but the way you feel right now is NOT. The way your wife feels is NOT. You will reach a new “normal” that now includes the 3 of you, it takes time, but it will happen.

Good luck, you can do it. Your wife can do it. Hang in there.

Now some obligatory advice:
(I know I said I wouldn’t but oh well…)

For the next two months:

Before anyone can see mom or the baby, and that means anyone.
1. They must bring food (hot and reheatable preferred)
2. They must do one house chore (laundry top of the list)
3. They must wash their hands and face thoroughly
4. They get 20min max.

Is the baby sleeping? why aren’t you? Seriously, no matter the time, sleep. Find yourself with some free time? Why aren’t you sleeping?

All the rest of it? doesn’t matter, not important.