This post is not about programming - so skip it if you want. It's about this weekend - or more particularly, about one of the - if not the most frightening moments of my adult life. As anyone who reads my stuff knows - I have a beautiful almost four month old baby girl named Abigail. Since she's come into this world, I've found my hear grow a million times the size of what it was before, I've re-evaluated so much in my life - simply put, my life simply isn't the same.
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
On saturday, as I was coming down the stairs from changing yet another atom-bomb of a diaper, one of our three cats was asleep on the stairs and I didn't see her. I stepped on the cat and immediately lost my balance - and my grip on Abby. Abby fell about four or five feet to the hardwood floor below me. She landed on her back/shoulders and head. Luckily, she started crying the exact second she hit her head and I picked her up within milliseconds it seems.
She was crying/moving/kicking - which up until I heard her cry this was the most frightening moment. The second she started crying, it was the best moment in my life. I wouldn't let her go - I just gripped her as tight as I could as she cried and my wife dialed 911.
Well, after 24 hours in infant ICU and her first MRI, Cat-Scan and X-Rays, we finally got to bring her back home on Sunday late-afternoon. It's funny - once everything calmed down in the hospital, she was already acting if nothing had happened, she was kicking and smiling and charming everyone in the unit. Seeing her strapped to a board, with a small infant-size neck brace around her neck - tubes and IVs and monitors all stuck in/on her was awful, but she smiled and kicked through it all (with a healthy dose of crying, but that's cause no one would let her eat).
At the end of it all - she got out of this with a small skull fracture, which should be nothing to worry about and a bump on the noggin. Her and Daddy now share something - head trauma. She's back to her old self, but I can honestly say I am not - I'm still nervous and overly careful. We've banned the feline occupants from the staircase and we've stayed home an extra day (per doctors orders) to spend more time with Abby.
Everyone kept telling me how these things happen - and that babies and children are resilient things. Thinking about it - I know they're right, given what I put my parents through and the number of ER visits we had to make when I was growing up.
Becoming a Dad - and now having her first real hurt come from my actions - really changes the way you see the world and how you measure what's important in life. Don't let anyone ever tell you different.